Friday 25 October 2019

Halloween writing - The Voice

Halloween writing - The Voice

For the next two weeks for writing we are going to be writing a story for Halloween. First we had to choose a photo from this site(https://www.literacyshed.com/spookyinspiration.html) and write a story with something to do to with that photo. I love doing this and I would do it again! :) 
Here is my story and photo I choose -

THe VoIce
Screeching, swings swaying in the wind, I stand and walk towards the old abandoned house. The one all the kids avoid, I hear a voice but I can’t make out the words. I’m at the front door, I feel an urge… I slowly push the door open creak! I walk down the corridor flinching at every little sound. I feel my spine shivering down my back. I feel someone or something breathing down my neck, saying “come come come tonight will be your last”

I slowing turn only my neck. Suddenly the floorboards in front of me creak as if someone was walking on them, quickly I turn my head back. I look around to only see blood dripping from the wall going in between the old wooden planks. I hear the voice again, “come come come tonight will be your last” I run as fast as I can to the room at the end on the left, it the only room with a door that’s not locked. I look into the room to see only a fire that’s burnt out and an old fashioned rocking chair that looks like it might break if anyone were to sit on it. I hear the floorboards creak and the voice “come come come tonight is the last, Goodbye” I turn towards the sound...

3 comments:

  1. Kia Ora Angelina!
    My name is Julia and I am a year 8 student from Yaldhurst Model School.

    This post is amazing. You had an amazing explanation to what the picture was and what the writing was for. I love how you added a link, it is always good to credit websites.

    I love your peace of writing, I can really imagine that I am there and it feels like it would be really creepy. Did you get ideas for the story from friends?

    To improve, all I can say is maybe put the writing in a slide. Also, a tip for the writing. To make it better, add more imagery, so thinks like touch, sound, sight, taste, and smell.

    Apart from that amazing job!

    Did you enjoy this writing? Would you do it again?

    Yours Sincerely,
    Julia

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  2. kia ora angelina Brayden from yaldhurst school.
    I loved this because it made my spine chill it is very scary.
    Your picture of that old house was very scary and how you said that you went inside and weird things happened like creaky floorboards and blood coming from the ceiling and into the floor board.next time you could put the title all caps.
    good story angelina.
    :O
    scary regards
    brayden yms

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hello Angalena,
    It is Bridget here from Yaldhurst Model School/Rimu Class. This blog post stood out to me because you gave a discription and you also added a picture. In our class we have a peice of paper that says everything that we need to put into a blog. I think that you are missing a few things of there. To start off with you could probaly try exsplaing a bit more.
    You could also try to Add a more catchy title. Oh and by the way your story was awesome!
    But other than that
    Ka Pai
    Bridget

    ReplyDelete

Thank-you for your positive, thoughtful, helpful comment.