A SPOOKY Story

A SPOOKY story

For writing Mrs Clark my teacher, gave as another photo like she did last week, but this week was much harder. We had to write a story instead of a paragraph. At the start of the week when she gave as the photo my mind went blank. MY teacher showed us a web site and what a piece of good writing our age looks like. After we all had finished writing our stories we self assessed and peer assessed. Here is the picture, my story and the assessment.

WALT:  Use precise adjectives in our writing to add interest to our readers

Midnight Murder
One Grey misty night on Halloween, My friend and I was walking on our last street. We were trick or treaty, my friend Jesabell spotted a creepy abandoned school I told my friend we should go in but Jesabell was scared “There ccould be ggghosts” said Jesabell,  I told her ghosts aren't real and she was being ridiculous but I was soon to learn… I went into the school, Jesabell being a scaredy cat followed me, as soon as we took a step into the school CREEK!!   “ WWhat was ttthat” Whispered Jesabell in a scared voice “ Don’t be a big baby it’s just the floor silly” I told her.

 In the coiner of a room with only one whitish old fashioned wooden chair in it was an even older grandfather clock. The clock strikes 12 DING!!  I hear a faint scream behind me. I looked around Jesabell was nowhere to be seen. All I could hear was an crackly evil laugh  HA HA HA!!  I turned around blackness fell that is all I ever saw again…   

SELF ASSESSMENT

Things I think I have done well are:

A variety of punctuation

Used great adjectives

Painting a good picture in the reader's mind

What I think I need to work on

Make all my words and sentences make sense

Pear assessment

I think you have you great adjectives

And a great start for a story  

And made it really interesting like perhaps this sentence was good

One Grey misty night on Halloween

 But Next time you could make have a little bit more sense

And a bit more nouns verbs and adverbs

But otherwise it was great.